The first time I did any kind of coloring to my hair, I was in seventh grade. My mom let me put Sun-In
Red. “Grape Jelly.” Hot pink. Bleach blonde. Dark brown. Medium Brown. Auburn. Copper. A failed attempt at teal.
My hair color’s always been a reflection of how I feel. Who I feel that I am. How I want to present myself, and who I want people to see. Since entering the working world, it’s always been a compromise between what I want and who I feel I am, and who I need to be for my job. Which has sadly meant no hot pink streaks hidden away. It’s also been a sign of how disconnected I feel from myself– the unending roots because I can’t figure out what color I want and reaching for the same color–because no other color could POSSIBLY feel right.
As you can see in this recent picture, my roots have gotten LONG since my last hair coloring. It prompted the eternal (or at least eternal-for-the-last-five-years) dilemma in me– keep it that color or find out what my natural color is?
Once, while living in Indiana, I got close, as in 2 inch roots. My coworkers were SOOO excited to see the natural color. But the look of my roots just drove me insane. Most of the time I get tired of having roots and color it whatever it was, whether that felt like my “color” at the time or not.
This time– I took the plunge. There was enough natural growth that the Beau helped me find a dye close to the color, and worst case scenario– if I hated it, it’d be easy to go back to strawberry blonde.
After I had finished & dried it, I went in to the living room to see the Beau. I was anxious, and a bit nervous. I was excited by what I saw in the mirror, but I knew how much he loved my redder hair.
“This is it. This is what your girlfriend looks like naturally. No make-up, no hair color.” He goes, “It’s nice.” I continue to give him the eye of “BUT…” and he adds, “It’s plain. It’s nice, but plain.” Of course, the dude who loves my vibrant copper and strawberry blonde hair isn’t going to jump for joy over mousy dishwater blonde hair.
It’s not an entirely accurate color, since it has built in highlights and lowlights from the strawberry blonde. And, of course, after a few weeks, it’s taken on a pinkish tone from the red starting to push it’s way through the dark blonde.
Oddly, I felt like “me” for the first time in a while with the strawberry blonde. I feel like “me” now, too, with this dishwater hair. I question how two different colors can feel like me, but realize that’s the nature of this girl-beast: always dueling with herself. And at least I I have a few colors I can bounce between, at least until I don’t feel like myself again. ;)
Relate? Empathize? What’s your history with your hair color?
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
I’ve been in similar hair color situations. I was red forever, then went back to variations of darker browns, and jumped into that whole craze with having blonde underneath. I also had blue and black (terrible) then pink and orange, which was fun.
I’ve had my normal hair color for about two years now and I like it. I’m low maintenance girl, so keeping up with coloring it wore me out. Still it was fun to experiment. Coincidentally I’m more confident than I’ve ever been, about my appearance and the person I’ve developed into.
Christy´s last [type] ..Molly Stackhouse- 100% Made in NOLA
The low maintenance part IS really appealing… because I really don’t have the energy to keep up with the color like I used to! (It baffles me to think I’d touch up my pink 3 times a week!)
Maybe growing confidence in who I am is part of it, too…
I did something similar a few years ago and I just never felt at home with it. My natural color is so dark it made me look ghostly and I felt compelled to wear more makeup than usual to compensate. I went back to the red after about a year and haven’t looked back.
That I understand! I always say we’re not always born with our natural color… I can’t imagine you anything but red!
I think it looks super cute!!
Thank you, Jessica!
I’m in the exact same boat. Been dying my hair since I was 14 and if you had asked me what colour my natural hair was last year, I wouldn’t have been able to answer you.
However, 9 months ago, I decided to start chopping my hair off, until it was almost a pixie and I decided to let it grow out so that I could see what colour it REALLY was. The hubs was crazy disappointed as he loved my fire red hair, but I was tired of dying it every 2 weeks …
The result? SO NOT WHAT I EXPECTED. It’s a daaaaaark brown with grey. A lot of grey. Every time I see my mom (every couple of months or so) she says to me “Is that your natural colour?? It’s so dark! and you have a lot of grey!!” Thanks Mom.
The irony? I got pregnant 3 months ago, so I can’t dye my hair again until the fall. It sucks.
What is it with men and red hair?! Even the Beau’s grandfather and uncle are like, “Oooh, a redhead!” (Sorry to disappoint, guys!)
Maybe with the grey, you could go for a cool Rogue look (from X-Men)? Can you dye with henna? (I have no clue, not having been pregnant, or used henna, before.)
That sucks so much it wasn’t what you expected though! I feel really lucky that, while mine is darker than I expected, it’s still REALLY light and would probably hide most grey anyhow…
I know, right?? I don’t get the redhead thing at all.
I’m actually going to try some henna this weekend and see how it goes. I’ve dobe it before but it’s hella messy (it’s seriously like putting mud in your hair on purpose) and needs to be left on for like 4 – 5 HOURS before it actually does anything, but it’s all natural and it’s at least something I cna try. I love the Rogue idea, though … maybe once the baby is out, I’ll see if my hairdresser could do a big chunk of hair grey in the front. That would be way cool. Thanks for the idea!!! :)
I think it is gorgeous on you! I don’t find it boring at all, it compliments your skin very well and brings out your pretty eyes. I find the natural (or close enough to look it) beauty to be more classic and appealing than the ‘obviously done’, but that is just me. <3
Actually, what you point out is why I like it so much! It just seems to complement my skin and eye color so well. While I love the other colors, and pulled them off well (I think), it’s just NICE to have something natural look so darn good! And if I get bored, there’s always subtle highlights ;)
Same boat here. Been dyeing since 13, everything from pink to blue to purple. Mostly I’ve stuck to auburns and bright reds…and now I’m seeing what my hair actually is again. It’s mousy brown with probably about 10% gray. (perhaps that’s a slight exaggeration.) It’s kind of interesting.
My dude likes me au naturale, so that is no issue…but I’m currently dyeing back to my natural color, and debating just rolling with the gray. I still have some AMAZING punky professionals dark purple hiding in the closet though :)
Maybe the grey is a great way to play with highlights some? Like using those tinted shampoos to see if the grey picks up the colors? Grey has gotten so trendy, too, you could probably use it for some fun highlights/chunks! ;)
I started coloring my hair around the time I was 13, mostly making it a little more red than my natural medium brown. Then, when I was 15, I picked up a Natural Instincts color called Black Cherry. Instead of the rich burgundy on the box, my hair was BLACK. And I was about to leave for a 3 week summer art camp 6 hours from home. Well, I told my mom, people will just think I am artsy. I met my future husband at that art camp, so he’d never seen my natural hair color until after we graduated college, and I decided I better go back to brown to get a real job. Good thing was I was working at a salon at the time so I had professional help on the cheap.
I got bored with brown pretty quick and when back to black for awhile, then somewhere along the way back to brown, and then went reddish, and then more and more red…because my employers didn’t seem to care — I’m a graphic designer, and even though I do work for the medical industry, my talent seems to trump my hair color.
My husband hasn’t ever disliked my hair, not even when I had a super short angular bob that caused other males to ask why I did that to myself. I feel really comfortable as a redhead, even though I feel like it’s become VERY trendy where I live among the pinup and burlesque crowd. I get asked if mine is natural, and considering how bright it is, I think that says a lot.
I don’t have tattoos but I feel like hair color is a really important means of self expression for me. I don’t think I’d ever go back to just having brown hair unless I absolutely HAD to.
Louise LeMans´s last [type] ..Pucker Up: Lipsticks!
Oh man, I accidentally dyed my hair black once too! It was not such a pretty look on me (just made me look really washed out).
It’s funny how much having a “real job” impacts our hair color. Realistically, it’s been the reason I stayed auburn so long– because it was kind of fun, but still presented itself as “professional.”
I love when people ask if my hair color–no matter what it is, is natural! It’s such a flattering feeling… especially since it IS such a form of self expression. While I love tattoos, I don’t know that I really will ever get one, so my hair has to do that work, too.
About 2 years ago I died my hair to just about the color as I was naturally. To my surprise, do to an unusually stressful series of events, as the roots got longer I found that I was going grey. It was kind of sad to see that my natural hair color wasn’t really an option.
Oh god yes, I totally relate! I find I always seem to go back to pink. When something huge changes in my life, it seems my hair has to change too, it’s like a way of adapting. I have a mousey brown natural colour, and started dying my hair pitch black in high school, then started experimenting with brighter colours. I remember being around 13 and seeing No Doubts ‘Ex-Girlfriend’ film clip and thinking “one day, my hair will be like that”. I find black hair makes me depressed now. I did however try going back to my ‘natural’ colour late last year, it was so strange my best friend of 20 years didn’t recognise me, she recognised my nephew first. Then, I dip dyed it aqua… and well, now it’s purple. The experiment in being a more ‘natural’ shade didn’t last long, but I honestly feel more ‘me’ when i’ve got bright coloured hair.
I think the shade really suits you, the highlights give it dimension and I think the red coming through would look really pretty.
Natalie´s last [type] ..Zoo Week – Meerkats & Giraffes!
I don’t think that’s a dishwater color! I think it’s pretty.
WendyB´s last [type] ..I’m a Fashion Group International Rising Star Award Winner!
Thanks, Miss Wendy! I just remember it being called that by a hairdresser before I started coloring it… (such a horrible way to describe a hair color!)
I think it’s good that you can recognise that you feel yourself with ‘dishwater’ hair as much as with the strawberry blonde – there’s definitely a lot to be said for being able to find versatility in an image whilst being able to maintain a sense of identity! I don’t colour my hair because I have health issues that mean I just don’t have the energy for the upkeep – or rather I’ll have one week of energy and then 4 weeks of no energy! I tell myself that if I had the money to get someone to do it for me, I’d get it done at the salon ALL the time, but I sometimes wonder if there’s a certain sense of safety in saying that I don’t have the energy for it! Maybe sometime I should just suck it up and get a friend to do it for me!
Clare´s last [type] ..Daring Bakers January 2012: Scones
Upkeep has definitely become a big part of it! I’m AMAZED at how much time I put in to keeping up my color in high school & college… and I just don’t think I care that much now, as bad as that sounds! If you have a friend who is great with color and doing it herself, it could be a fun way to try it out…. but if you’re happy with your color? Just stick with it!