How do I begin to introduce Marie? That I’m pretty sure she’s the WitchBaby-CherokeeBat to my CherokeeBat-WitchBaby? That I not-so-secretly wish I lived in L.A. so I could
stalk her be her best friend? That I wish I such great bangs & lips that looked just as oh-so fab in lipstick? That she reminds me CONSTANTLY of all the things that I love deep in my heart & have neglected, and as such, she might be my faerie godmother?
In spite of my girl crush feelings– I needed Marie to be part of this series. Not just because I can turn to her for support on my own body goals, but because beneath Marie’s infinite wit, amazing style, and one-of-a-kind writing voice, is a gal with loads of thoughts and experience (see: growing up biracial at Rookie).
Describe your body:
Nice boobs, good curves, big lips, thick thighs, a lil’ more belly than I’d like but that’s okay. My butt sticks out and makes all of my skirts shorter. Business in the front, party in the back. And in the words of one Missy Elliott:
I’m 5 foot 2, I wanna dance with you
And I’m sophisticated fun
I eat filet mignon and I’m nice and young
Best believe I’m number one.
What’s your earliest positive memory of body image (whether your body or another’s bod)?
I would say it was in high school when I used to dance and was on drill team. I REALLY think dancing is what made me comfortable with my body as a teenager, even though I was never skinny. You end up concentrating more on what you can do with your body and how it makes you feel, rather than what it looks like.
What’s your earliest negative memory of body image (whether your body or another’s bod)?
I was teased a lot for being chubby growing up, particularly in elementary school. I have this memory of my ex-sister in law saying I was mataba which means fat in Tagalog. That’s a fucked up thing for a seven or eight-year old to hear and REMEMBER FOREVER you know?
If you could give 15 year old you advice [on your developin' bod, fashion, self-esteem], what would you say?
“BITCH THOSE ARE CURVES, STOP THINKING YOU ARE A WHALE.” I didn’t understand that bodies are shaped differently, there isn’t just “fat or skinny.” I wish I knew that when I was surrounded by my thinner, straight-bodied friends. I wish websites like Curve Appeal and of course, Rookie, had existed when I was a teen. Also “don’t give up on dancing” and “keep your Doc Martens.”
What’s been your biggest struggle in accepting your body?
I think in the past I used to think that this and this wouldn’t happen unless I was skinny, which was sad. Luckily these days, I’m smarter to know that’s not true.
When it comes to other people and your body, what’s your biggest pet peeve?
Just because I have big boobs and am not wearing a turtleneck, doesn’t mean you EVER have the right to make comments about my body, assholes. My issue with that mostly has to do with street harassment.
Do you feel your body image is shaped by bloggers? How much do you compare yourself to other bloggers? Do you feel pressured to have a certain look or be a certain weight– and if so, how do you fight those pressures?
I think we all wish we could wear certain things that we see on other bloggers, but no, I don’t think about that at all or ever feel pressured! Maybe I did a little bit in the beginning, but these days, there are SO MANY FASHION BLOGGERS -totally different from 2007/2008 when we started blogging. The big positive to that is that you see many more girls of different shapes and sizes and I think that’s FUCKING FANTASTIC!!! It’s really important for young girls to see such a variety, because sadly, there are still A LOT of unhealthy body images out there influencing them.
When it comes to dressing your body, what’s your motto? What rules do you swear by– or don’t you abide?
I don’t have any rules, or if I do, I usually break them if the situation calls for it. For instance, I always talked shit about Ugg boots but one day when I was out in the woods, I was like “FUCK I WISH I HAD SOME UGGZ RIGHT NOW” Don’t tell anyone that though. Haha. I really just make sure I always feel comfortable in what I wear. If something doesn’t work, I won’t force it. I don’t have one particular style every day – I dress according to mood, so sometimes I want to wear a super girly Betsey Johnson outfit and other days I want to wear head-to-toe black and big bamboo earrings. I also will get rid of clothes that carry bad memories or bad energy!
Are you happy? What’s that mean for you? Could you be happier?
I am the happiest I have been in a very long time. I am doing work I love and am grateful to be a part of, I have the most amazing, supportive, friends and family than EVER, and I’m just really happy with myself for getting through some pretty turbulent times and coming out of them as the strongest, and biggest badass chick ever. I definitely could be happier…but I don’t think that’s too far away, either. :)