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Links to Love

by Ashley on June 24, 2011

In case you missed it, I wrote about my experience with Hurricane Katrina on Yes and Yes.  With all that has gone on lately in Alabama, Joplin, Missouri, and so many other places, I hope that others know that they aren’t alone and they can get through the hardships going on right now.

When Your Abuser Gets Married is an incredibly powerful read, and quite honestly leaves me a bit speechless.

It’s Okay to Have Everything You Want at Medicinal Marzipan.  I have the hardest time remembering that, and especially living it.  Though I’m trying.

Also at Medicinal Marzipan — On Blogger Responsibility.  What do bloggers owe their readers? Do they owe them anything in regards to disclaimers, being ethically minded, etc?

Dear Dudes in the Pretty Good Things Craft Fair Booth sums up a lot in the dynamics of male/female shopping.

Has this happened to you? Your lady is totally smitten with a hat, fascinator or hair do-dad and you’ve been asked, “what do you think?”.

You’re tired, you don’t share her enthusiasm about item in question and last but not leastly, you want to get the eff out of this mother effing shopping excursion.  Well! Get ready because I know JUST the thing you can say/do:

On the Plus Side: In Defense of GabiFresh Or Why the Plus Sized Community Needs to Wake Up. There are so many pearls of wisdom in this that apply to ALL bloggers, in almost all niches.

What are you saying to brands by republishing their press releases? What are you saying to brands when you enter a competition to be selected to attend a blogging conference? What are you saying to brands by competing against your colleagues for a $600 bejeweled bra and asking what it is that you can do to help that brand?

Why Women Are (At Times) Their Own Worst Enemy at Beautifully Invisible. I got angry because I knew it wasn’t true.  I got angry because how dare she call me a cow when I know that I am beautiful! I know that and that is what matters.

Sexy is a State of Mind by Anika By Anika. Enough Said.

How to Dress Joyously at Already Pretty.

Learning from Oprah’s Mistakes at For Those About to Shop.  I’ve never been a huge Oprah devotee (I think she’s pretty badass though), and this post is a great reminder that she IS badass.

Sound Advice at Bonne-Vie.  When you love yourself regardless of your bad hair days, your outfit faux-pas, your gaffes in public (I’m a total goober in public, but I laugh, because it’s often hilarious!), you are nothing but inspiring – even on your non-fashionable days.

My Ethical Dilemma with Fashion Blogging:

Why do we feel compelled to reveal where we got things from? It seems that many times, when fashion bloggers reveal where they purchased certain items, certain readers (and other bloggers) would feel compelled to buy the same things for themselves (and possibly blog wearing the same item). Is fashion/outfit/style blogging just another channel that feeds the capitalist machine?

Via My Milk Heart Glass: Tina Fey’s “A Prayer for my Daughter” is wonderful. (from her book Bossypants)

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half and stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her when crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes and not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers and the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.

 

 

{ 19 comments }

Lara June 24, 2011 at 10:15 am

Muah! for the shout out!
That article about when your abuser marries… whoa. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship that finally blew up into violence on the day I left. Then I found out that he had kicked his next gf down stairs and later broke her arm.
What could I have done? Get a billboard telling the city what a bastard he was? So frustrating.

Ashe June 24, 2011 at 3:49 pm

It’s SUCH an intense piece! It left me feeling with a lot of emotions, even though I’ve never been in an abusive relationship.

That’s so horrible about what your ex did to the next girlfriend… and really, what can you do? Even if people file police charges, it’s not like a girl sees those before dating!

Zoe June 24, 2011 at 12:26 pm

Thanks for sharing the post on Katrina. I still have a hard time talking about it, although I do talk about it when people ask. Even though it’s been almost 6 years it still feels fresh in my mind; it’s my life before Katrina that’s a blur to me now.

Ashe June 24, 2011 at 3:50 pm

It’s still so, so hard for me. Sarah at Yes and Yes actually had asked me to write the post a year before, and it took me that long to muster up to write it…. I think the hardest is when people seem… enthusiastically curious about it? Then it just feels so morbid.

Marzipan June 24, 2011 at 12:33 pm

Thanks for the love darling, I very much appreciate it. xo

Slow Southern Style June 24, 2011 at 12:35 pm

Those are some great links Ashe. The piece on ethical fashion blogging really struck a chord with me, it has been something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately and her article really resonated with me.

Ashe June 24, 2011 at 3:51 pm

I’m glad to hear it resonated… she said so many thoughtful things, I’m still processing it!

sui June 24, 2011 at 1:09 pm

great links! I love marzipan :)))

Ashe June 24, 2011 at 3:51 pm

ME TOO. Can’t I just link to all her posts? Or is that cheating?

GRIT & GLAMOUR June 24, 2011 at 2:20 pm

Links to love, indeed. Lots of goodies in that list!

Ashe June 24, 2011 at 3:50 pm

It’s a good period for great reads!

Terri June 24, 2011 at 3:38 pm

It’s been a good week in the blogosphere hasn’t it!

Ashe June 24, 2011 at 3:50 pm

It really has! I love finding top notch writers & posts!

birdie June 24, 2011 at 4:43 pm

<3 <3 <3!

This was a fantastic week in the blogosphere. I love it!

RK June 24, 2011 at 8:31 pm

Hi Ashe, thank you so much for including my blog post among these incredible and diverse list of good reads; I feel very honoured! You’re very strong to write about your Katrina experience.

Anika www.byanika.com June 24, 2011 at 9:10 pm

Sweetheart, you move me so. I love you, I can`t help my self. I am so inspired by you as a blogger and as a person. Thank you for being you. Hugs and kisses.

Courtney June 24, 2011 at 9:26 pm

I must get Bossy Pants!

FASHION TALES June 27, 2011 at 4:08 pm

Amazing post links! So nice that you shared about Katrina, I have friends in Alabama who were even affected by the recent tornados.

Jamillah June 28, 2011 at 2:43 pm

Ok, I think I’m just going to tweet this, I keep on tweeting the posts individually because they are all soooooo good. My gawsh, GREAT reading and I would like to hug you. Thank you for sharing.

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