Someone once told me that the 4 most stressful events in a person’s life were moving, starting a new job, getting married, and having a baby.
Now, I’m not sure how accurate that statement is, as I’ve never been married or had a baby. Being in the midst of relocating and starting a new job, I can guarantee those are two INCREDIBLE life changes and major stress inducers (if you’ve been following me on Twitter, no doubt you’ve seen/heard about some of it).
Some tips I’ve learned (the hard way!) about coping with these major life changes:
- Check & double check, read the fine print, and pay extra attention to everything you’re doing!
I learned this one the hard way, many times this past week. One example was when I found out 3 days before my “movers” were scheduled to come that a) I’d signed up for a 28′ trailer to be dropped off at my apartment complex and b) that there were no “movers” involved to help me load everything in to my truck. How I completely mis-interpreted the website and my services, I don’t know. I managed, at the last minute, to pay extra for a small cube/pod to be delivered, and Miss Malaprop and I loaded it ourselves.
Take a moment–read things clearly, ask questions, and talk to someone on the phone when you can!
- Allow yourself extra time for the unexpected.
You may have noticed that I had about a week and half to: find a tenant to take over my old lease, pack up my belongings, finish work, and relocate from Indiana to Louisiana. It wasn’t a situation that gave me a lot of wiggle room for errors. With everything else that went wrong during the week, I was praying big time that my car didn’t break down on the 14 hour drive.
Know where you can squeeze in extra time– for sleeping overnight when the drive is longer than you expected, to rescheduling appointments.
- Be strategic about your “packing.”
I’m not only talking about making sure you pack your house up in a coherent and logical manner– I’m talking about putting away the remnants of your old life in a way that is easy to navigate and is accessible for when you need it. As we speak, I’m not entirely sure where my passport and social security card are, and I’m missing 10% of my relocation receipts.
Know what paperwork, materials, and information you’ll need during your life change–make them accessible, and don’t forget where you put them!
- Immediately create “you” space, so that you can (mentally and/or temporarily) get your life back on track.
Animals are great at this–and me? it’s taken about a week for it to even come to mind. While I’ve been busy sleeping, adjusting to a new job, and eating out of a fridge and microwave, I’ve forgotten to create a space where I can work on personal projects. So this weekend I spent too much time dawdling and trying to find a space where I could focus and work on posts.
Whether you’re having a baby, or moving in to your fiancee’s home, it’s important to have an area that mentally triggers and focuses your mind–create it early, so that you don’t waste valuable time trying to find!
- Turn to your friends and family when you need emotional support, a hug, or someone to help carry a couch.
Like when you’re coping with grief, the people in your life can be a huge source of relief (and sometimes pain-in-the-ass-ness). This past week would have been substantially more difficult if not for my friends who took me out for drinks, my co-workers (old and new alike!) who sent me encouraging messages and were so patient with me, and a boy who kept telling me that I could do it over and over.
- Find time for yourself.
It’s easy for people to get demanding of your time when major changes happen–people want you to spend extra time with them, your boss wants you to stay late at work, or you’re struggling to find time to do everything. Know when to say “no,” because you have someone else important to spend that time with–yourself. (Or your cat, if you’re like me.)
Anything I’m missing, loves? What do you wish you had known about the big life changes, that could have helped you prepare better?
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
This all rings so very true. My boyfriend and I got a place together at the start of the summer, and I was so busy with school that I never really gave the time to making it our own and creating nice space out of an umimaginative rental apartment with horrid carpet. In typical boy fashion, it didn’t bother himself at all, but eventually I realized that my surroundings were having a huge impact on my mood and went on a renesting kick. It feels like home now, and I don’t even mind the carpet!
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Ah yes, strategic packing, I move about a lot and have a sealed plastic folder/sleeve for all the *really* important stuff. I never really say anywhere long enough to accumulate too much so I’m sure what you’re going through is a far cry from what I’m used to. I hope it’s going ok & you’re not too anxious & stressed… & that you’re managing to find some you time to relax & rejuvenate!
Thanks for the advice. Moving is definitely a pain in the butt, I’ve done it every year for the past three years. I’m also currently integrating my boyfriend into my house and making sure that there is time/space for my daily routine to pan through is definitely essential not only in keeping me sane but keeping our relationship strong.
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Well put. I moved jobs and houses in the past month and having been living in a somewhat fed up grumpy mood ever since – and I really need to get off my arse and make the place work for me so I can relax for the first time in months!
Lauren Cooke´s last blog ..A dose of the Nastys
So excited for you and glad you made it one piece. I’ve never had a major move *someday* but I would say “Don’t Stress and stay calm” cause it will only make matters worse. Hope you love your new(old) home!!!
Fajr| Stylish Thought´s last blog ..Life Lessons and stylish thoughts on blogging
moving is hard, no matter how much you prepare, no matter how light you htink you live, moving is stressful. i’ve had some pretty ’smooth’ moves, and well they still stress me out.
givnig yourself time and space is so important, i’m glad you wrote about it.
:)
jennine´s last blog ..Love ‘em or Leave ‘em : Fur Spats
I think the best tip there is to make time for yourself.
Last time I moved it was awful, we carried and drove everything ourself and I’m really not strong enough to be lugging sofas around! We always make sure we have little moving day treats, like eating Fish and Chips out of the paper while sat on a box!
Look after yourself my lovely. Don’t get all stressed out, it’s bad for you :)
Great list. I’ve moved several times – by myself too – and started new jobs several times as well. However all the moving was done for school (like moving to New Zealand to go to university) but it was still very stressful. Great fun though when you look back on it but stressful at the time! You sound like your head is on straight though – keep it up and good luck :)
Wanderlusting´s last blog ..Inspired by: Perry Palomino
Fantastic list! I also have decided next time I move to allow extra packing time…Or maybe just a pre-packing cleaning. It seems through each move I always end up packing things I should have just sorted and discarded beforehand. Maybe that’s just me.?. LOL!
Good luck in your new home.
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I’ve been married and started new jobs, and personally I found moving ten hours away from home more stressful than either! I would agree with what you said, and add that if you have more than a week and a half to plan, it’s a good idea to always schedule for everything taking twice as long as you think it will. On moving day, we thought we’d be able to finish loading the van & trailer by 9-10 in the morning, and we didn’t finish until 1!
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I know how stressful this can be and you’ve offered wonderful advice, Ashe. It’s so important to keep up with the important things during a move (my family managed to lose our cat…luckily he turned up a few days later at the final destination).
When you find your passport & card, you should keep them in a binder along with copies of everything in your wallet (front & back, birth certificate and any critical account/policy info. That way, if you find that your house is on fire or you’re moving again or you lose your wallet, you can grab it quickly and get things in order more easily.
This is great advice! I definitely agree that reading the fine print and going over everything multiple times as far as papers go is essential. Good to hear you are back in NO and I wish you much luck in your new job and changes!
Oh the stress of moving! And starting a new job at the same time only adds more stress. These are wonderful tips. I especially like 1st & 2nd – you can apply these to many aspects of life!
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some really great tips!
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These are fantastic tips, thank-you for posting this! I would definitely classify moving as a highly stressful occasion, but I recently bought an apartment and while I’m excited, it is undoubtedly the most stressful thing that I have EVER encountered. Negotiating prices, organising appointments, attempting to wade your way through a sea of a thousand contracts that you don’t understand in the slightest.. stress-o-rama!
x Corrine/Frock & Roll x´s last blog ..It’s Friday! ?
yeap, it’s so stressful especially if it’s really new and unknown place for you and need to make new friends) may be in future you will remember about it with great happiness ’cause you’ve got so many lessons but when you are there you need courage and strengh)
Relocating was the most difficult task I’ve had to do in a long time. It took months of preparation, planning, packing, looking for a new place (out of state) and so on. I wish I had your advice when I was going though it but I am so glad to be done!
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