When I look back at my time in New Orleans as many of the best years of my life, I think a great part of that has to do with the shape and change my own body went through. Through a nightlife of debauchery and dancing, I shed a substantial amount of weight and felt fit & healthy for the first time in my life. At 5’7 and 155-165 pounds, I still wasn’t slim– but I felt sexy, curvy, and confident.
A happy, healthy, slimmer Ashe Mischief
The descent back in to the black pit began the second semester of grad school– I can pinpoint the change precisely. My grad program was very rigorous, putting an entire program in to three semesters of classes. Second semester became particularly tough as I entered in to a Financial Management class that puts most school-related nightmares to shame. The absurdity and strain of the class was so severe that a group of my classmates & I went to one of the school’s Deans, who simply told us, “You’re arts girls who can’t do math.”
Food became a comfort in a place without solace. A cupcake or slice of carrot cake after financial management. A Chipotle burrito between class and one of my many jobs (imagine 15 graduate credit hours, working 25-30 hours a week, homework, 3 group projects, and two part-time internships!). Between no clubs & dancing, no social life outside of school, the boy and I developed bad eating habits (too much fast food & pizza!) and worse exercise habits (sex counts, right?).
With the help of my handy iPhone, I’ve been embarking on the most scary part of weight loss– calorie counting. Keeping track of what I was eating before, and what I need to eat now, to get to an ideal body weight. While I know that weight loss is a combination of healthy eating and exercise, I know that one step at a time is the best way for me. My first goal is get my eating habits reined in and back on track, to fill myself with healthy foods, within healthy amounts, and allowing the occasional splurge day to eat whatever-the-fuck-I-want.
Occasionally I may pop in, to make myself accountable for my actions, my course, and how it’s going. But in no way will this turn in to a weight-loss blog. For me, a big part of who I am though, is my style, and I can’t be fully myself when I can’t fit in to my gorgeous Trashy Diva dresses, my favorite blazers & trousers, or my bustle skirts.
My ultimate goal, at some point, is to return to that pre-Bloomington body I felt so happy & comfortable in, one where I could on occasion see my collarbone. So we’ll call this Operation Collarbone.
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
I hear ya!
And I better watch myself before my collarbone starts sinking in.
You must be one of the few people to keep fit through debauchery! :-)
[rq=56039,0,blog][/rq]Sherry Baby, With Your Graffiti Dress On
Good luck! I know how you feel, I’ve put on weight and miss my old body and self! I have that skirt too!
[rq=56063,0,blog][/rq]I love Rice and Beans & Jennine
oh man… i hear you on this… i’ve struggled with my weight since childhood (i was a size 14-16 when i was 18 years old, for someone 5’3″ and small boned, that’s 1993 sizes),
when i started blogging and got into a relationship, i gained about 20lbs, but the good news was, i had been able to manage most of that. it does take a lot of diligence.
at the same time, i have to realize that there’s nothing wrong with being curvy. i still watch what i eat and i make a point to excercize, but i don’t punish myself over the 10 pounds i *could* loose -most of the time-
i wish you all the best on this journey, and i send you good energy from the universe to help make it a nice one for you. :)
[rq=56393,0,blog][/rq]Coveted Fashion Digest : Blogger Mannequins, Important Eyebrows and Affordable Shoes
Good for you. Is there an iPhone app you’re using? I’m getting my iPhone this week (whenever it comes in the mail). I’m trying to lose some weight this summer too. I think it may help with my health issues.
When I lost 20 pounds in four months many years ago, I did it by keeping track of everything I ate and all my exercise (and exercising 3-5 times a week for at least half an hour). It’s a good plan.
Good luck! Maybe we can nudge each other back on track from time to time.
Good luck with your goal, Ashe!! I’ve been trying to exercise more myself – I don’t care about losing weight, I just want to feel better. Which should be the ultimate goal with any weight loss or diet change!
[rq=56562,0,blog][/rq]10 More Places + Ways to Find Inspiration
You should be proud of yourself that you are at least WILLING to lose the weight. Most people can’t even commit to that.
& I think you are stunning, regardless of what size you are. You have a beautiful personality, which outweighs even the highest of size numbers. Even so, I wish you the best of luck on your endeavor. :] I know you’ll do great!
[rq=56708,0,blog][/rq]shop apricot’s closet; summer frostings.
My weight is a constant struggle… I am one of those people who eats right, exercises regularly and am still 10 pounds overweight. But there are times I actually feel really great about my fitness level and the way my jeans fit. I just can’t let down my guard for a minute. good luck to you!
Congrats on the commitment, Ashe. I’m rooting for you all the way. And no matter what, you’re awesome. Truly. =D
And that dean is an asshole…
[rq=56778,0,blog][/rq]Tomorrow Night/Buy My Shoes
While you know that I’ve been very fortunate in not having had to struggle with weight thus far, I still don’t feel like I’ve ever been particularly fit…just extremely lucky. However, the fact that I’ve recently taken up exercise on a regular basis is making me feel really, really good about myself. I started taking kickboxing to help relieve stress and aggression, but it’s definitely a self-esteem boost as well. I’m exploring an athletic side I never thought I had. I’m getting excited and hopeful about feeling strong physically, like I don’t have to worry about being a wimpy girl as much.
My kickboxing instructor has gone home to France for 6 weeks, so now we’re working on kettlebells. We started last night, just learning basic moves and not really doing continuous exercises yet and I can already tell it will be tough but rewarding! It’s supposed to be really great because not only does it build muscle strength, you’re actually doing cardio at the same time so it’s great for burning fat! Hopefully once I learn the basics I can get a couple of kettlebells for myself and do the exercises at home.
[rq=57393,0,blog][/rq]Giveaway – Eco-friendly Tote From Twelve NYC!
I’m all for getting back to a weight that you’re comfortable with, but just bear in mind we’re all gorgeous, beautiful, sassy women, regardless of our weight! It’s taken me a few years to come to that realization, and I feel 110% better for it!
I’ve struggled with my weight too.
I was always a small UK 8-10 then I went up to about a 10-12 when I was at College.
I love food and eating out and cooking, so when I started working and earning a bit of money I started to ballon until I finally had that magic BMI over 30 and wore a 16-18.
I’ve lost 3 stone over the last couple of years with Weight Watchers, but over the last couple of months I’ve started to notice it creep back on a little.
I love food and life too much to ever be one of those stick thin things, but I do want to be happy and confident with myself, and I’m not right now, so I shall try and lose those last few pounds.
Good luck Ashe, but don’t ever lose sight of what an amazing person you are. Having never met you I think you come across as intelligent, funny and friendly and a fun person, just don’t lose that with the weight ;o)
[rq=59491,0,blog][/rq]What are you Wearing? Simple Summer Frocks
God! There are so many wonderful comments here– it makes me feel incredibly lucky to have such great women supporting me! Just know– I’m still a great & fabulous lady at a lighter weight, if not moreso! Just because I tend to be more bold, confident, and playful when I feel secure & sexy in my figure!
@Fajr/ Stylish Thought – Ah! I miss that skirt SO much :( I want to wear it again badly… it’s a slippery slope between a few healthy pounds and just putting on too much.
@Freya – Definitely do, dear! As much as we all want to lose too much weight, when I get below 155 my face starts to get too skinny & angular… a happy balance is where it’s at!
@WendyB – It’s true! I need to move back to a city where there’s good debauchery to be had… ;D
@Jennine – Thank you, Jennine, for the support and the candidness in your own struggles! I think you look amazing– and for what it’s worth, I’ve been watching your journal for what feels like ages, and didn’t even notice the 20 lbs or 10 lbs… you always look happy, confident, and in love with life. Sometimes there’s no beating ourselves up over 10 lbs–especially when that can change in a week!
@Lara – I’m using the Lose It! Application on my iPhone–I really love that it tracks nutrients, too, so I can be sure I’m getting a lot of fiber, and aren’t going crazy on my sodium & carbs. We can definitely nudge one another along!
@apricot tea. – @Alicia – @Michelle – Thank you SO much for the support, ladies!
@tina – Tina, you have a great attitude! It’s important to recognize where our bodies naturally want to be–which you seem to see. Just keep thinking positively. You’re fabulous for being fit & healthy, hon!
@stephanie – Thank you, Stephanie! I absolutely agree! But being healthy + all of those things will make me a much happier gal. Because health is important!
@Retro Chick – I think the paragraph where you say “I love food and life too much to every be one of those stick thing things, but do want to be happy and confident with myself, and I’m not right now, so I shall try and lose those last few pounds” is so perfectly on track! I think for both of us, having fluctuated from both ends, we see the difference it can make. And you’re so sweet– if you think I’m already all of those things, trust me when I say I’m even moreso a few pounds lighter! (Promise! ;)
Aw, you don’t need luck – you can do it on your own!
I like that you call it “operation collarbone”. I can relate to that. My collar bone used to be slightly more prominent on my body.
I never gained the “freshman 15″ during college, but after undergrad I certainly gained the “I am totally depressed, not active and slowing metabolism 25″.
Exercise, and moderate amount of watching the food consumption…and just being in a better mental place has helped me shed some of those pounds.
But good for you! It does feel good to make a choice and follow through!
I totally feel you on the weight loss goals. As someone who’s always been pretty uncomfortable with her weight (I sit between a 20 and 22 right now), I understand what it’s like to look back at times when you were thinner and want to get back to that. I love that there’s an app to help!
Also, I love the reference to the collar bone. I think it’s one of the most feminine and attractive features of the body.
[rq=86092,0,blog][/rq]Slice of Life…Monday?
man, you know what, i think food in the US is just really fattening!!! i’ve been here less than 2 years and have put on more weight than ever. it’s awful. i can’t wear some stuff that i first brought here!!! i need to join a gym or go running. but i’m such a lazybones. :( good luck to us both!!
[rq=105122,0,blog][/rq]michael jackson, gone too soon.
I paid the price for the Greek’s pizza trips myself…
P.S. I heart you so much for this post. I’ve been trying to rein myself back in too. I have good days and bad. Best of luck in your own mission. :)
School is so rough on the body. I find that spring semesters are the worst for me.