8/29/09: 4 Years Later

This beautiful piece was written by one of my life-long friends, JB. It was too perfect not to share…

8-29-09

Katrina,
I know it’s been a while, but I wanted to write you. I don’t want to creep you out or anything, it’s been four years, and I probably should have forgotten you by now. Four years ago when you threw me out of the house, I tried to look at it as a new beginning. “Plenty of fish in the sea” and all that stuff. You broke my heart and left me with nothing, usual old sob story. I should of seen it coming, later, I heard you had done the same thing to a bunch of others. Most people think I should be over you now. They think what we shared shouldn’t still hurt. Well, I pride myself on moving on. I am usually pretty good at the boot strap clichés and what not. However, if I’m being honest here, you cut me the deepest. I still think about you, ya know. Doesn’t even have to be an anniversary. It can be something as small as a picture, a memory, a walk. You were a real doozie, you know that? Like a one night stand that blows your mind and has you remembering for years. Whoever thought, the first time I looked into your eye, that my life would be forever classified as “Pre-You” and “Post-You”. Not me, not my friends, my neighbors. You know the worst thing about you and me though? I mean, about what we shared? You made me look at things differently. Sure, you brought out the best in some, but you brought out the worst in others. You made me realize who my true friends were, or the lack-there-of. You made me see my family’s priorities. You made me look at reality. I don’t like reality.
I probably should have seen a professional after you got done with me. I didn’t. Too proud. I’m alright though, or so I tell myself. I should probably close with some stuff to make you jealous. That’s normally what these letters are about, right? Truth is, I can’t come up with anything. I don’t think I’m any better off, any happier. I might be a little more subdued, internalized, withdrawn. Those aren’t positives though. So you win. I’m not giving up, I’ll be over you one day. Just not today, or any day since. I’ll move on, I’ll see others, I’ll elope to a hotel room in another city the next time one like you comes along. Just know, I’m not over you yet. Not by a long shot.
-JB