I’m not getting married–or engaged– any time soon (though if a certain fella asked, I wouldn’t say ‘no’). Recent talks with Birdiee got me thinking about the role engagement and wedding rings play in our lives, and it made me realize that it’s important (for me) that my friends and partners know my taste in jewelry, especially when it comes to engagement rings.
Regardless of those who may find it shallow, I believe that the engagement & wedding rings are among the most personal items that we’ll own in our lives. They represent the beautiful bond between two people, and as such, I believe that it’s an item that should not only reflect you as a person, but your relationship to your partner.
So I came up with a contingency plan against the horror stories I’ve heard. The fella, along with my two best ladies (one being Miss Malaprop) have been warned about my ring preferences– because Co. I’ll accept in a ring dealer is Tiffany & Co.
I like to think of this design as The Safety Ring. The Safety Ring is designed for the fella who wants to pop the question to me, but may not know my taste very well. It’s the piece I’d happily wear the rest of my life and is available at any retailer (though good old Tiff’s would earn him bonus points & extra lovin’). Emerald cut diamond, no larger than 1 carat (modesty, meow!), and a white gold or platinum band.
In reality, if I had the option of picking out a ring of my own doing (or showing him & being later surprised), these rings would definitely make me a happy & blissful Mischief. I love a ring that is sophisticated, and bold in its simplicity.
Black Pearl Engagement Ring, $395 is a beautiful, classy choice. I think there’s something unusual about black pearls… while I don’t see myself wearing white pearls often, there’s something a bit rebellious about a black one…
Black Diamond, $1850 is probably my favorite. It’s ACES. I love hold bold and start the black diamond is, and the delicate diamond detailing on the side. Like the black pearl, there’s something a bit more unusual and rare about a black diamond.
Engaged/Married Set, $26. I LOVE this cheeky little ring set, and particularly love the idea of using this as an engagement ring set for your fella… afterall, why should the girls be the only ones to get a little bling action?
There’s also every fashion bloggers favorite option, which would be to have the gorgeous & super talented Wendy Brandes design you rings. Which believe you me, is definitely an option I will happily consider. Afterall, when a woman’s career is launched by the creation of her own wedding rings, you know she’ll whip up something magical.
I love the options available through indie designers; its an opportunity to make an already special event even moreso, by knowing that your partner and an indie artisan worked together to create you a ring for you. It’s even more amazing when you think of the designers who are creating them with conflict free stones and recycled metal materials…
All right ladies (and gents!) fess up– am I being a picky bitch? Do you have engagement ring horror stories? Is it something that matters to you, or could you care less?
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
I know exactly what you mean! Me and my boyfriend have been talking about getting married in the not too distant future and I hope that when he proposes it’ll be with a placeholder, because I want to be involved in choosing the proper one! It makes sense when you’re buying a piece of jewellery that is forever (and you’re spending a lot of money on it) that you make sure you love it completely.
p.s. that black diamond one is stunning!
Franca´s last blog ..Red, pink and orange flickr faves
Let’s face it, it’s the only thing you’re going to wear for the rest of your life (well, hopefully), so it’s worth being picky! I can’t think of anything worse than looking down at my ring finger and thinking, “Well, I guess it’s the thought that matters…” I think your contigency plan is a great idea!
As for me, I haven’t yet found the ideal man and hence haven’t really searched for the ring. However the ones I really love all tend to have a thin, tapered band and something a little different to off-set the diamond, like some semi-precious stones. I don’t generally like the stuff produced be jewellery store chains – I think antique stores have the best rings.
Oh! I love the emerald cut as well but have also been thinking about black pearls and black diamonds.
For years though, I have been in love with art deco circular diamond and ruby designs like this one.
http://thebestengagementrings.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/07/ESTATE-ART-DECO-1.25ct-OLD-DIAMOND-RUBY-ENGAGEMENT-RING-Ebay-Seller-melonypino.jpg
Then I saw Wendy B’s swan ring and just about flipped. Perfect!
Lara´s last blog ..things I wish I had never given to Goodwill
Pearls, black or otherwise, would actually be a terrible choice for an engagement ring, unless you weren’t planning on wearing it forever and all the time. They are extremely delicate and non-durable stones. My mother has a pearl ring from my grandmother that’s so worn now it looks like a pencil eraser set in gold.
My hubby (an east coast yuppy) knew he could never choose an engagement ring for me (a boho californian), so he asked me to pick it out myself. No shocking surprise when he proposed, but I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
Jen´s last blog ..Win a Tiara from Love Tiaras
There is nothing wrong with putting what you like out there. That black diamond is GORGEOUS.
I saw some cute rings on etsy once. The rings had a nut and bolt that screwed into each other. =D
Thanks for mentioning me! And I see that Katharine saved me from leaving the message I was going to leave about pearls. But I’ll just say that she’s right. When I see the wear and tear people put on their rings (wearing them to the BEACH?!) a pearl is absolutely the worst way to go. If you want a durable stone that’s not a diamond, consider a white sapphire. I’ve done custom rings with those (see top photo here: http://wendybrandes.com/blog/2008/03/engaging-engagement-rings/ )
WendyB´s last blog ..Outfit Post: A Stitch in Time
As a proud purchaser of a Wendy Brandes’ engagement ring, I can attest both to its awesomeness and its ability to seal the deal.
OOOH! I’m so glad you wrote about this…
I think it’s important to have something that signifies your newly minted relationship, but something that you’re going to WANT to have on your finger forever. It’s really important to find that balance and it’s not selfish of you to want something that signifies YOU, along with your lover.
birdie´s last blog ..Halloween Shenanigans
i am still looking for my engagement ring!
thanks for posting this!
jennine´s last blog ..Knick Knock Knickerbockers
My engagement ring story is pretty rife with guilt. Mr. Man has *always* known that he’d wind up marrying me (even if I was skeptical) and so the subject had come up a few times. He know what I wanted in a ring – silver, flat band, three stones at most – since I had no qualms about showing and explaining.
But when the day came, the ring I put on my finger was nearly the exact *opposite* of what we’d talked about – it was gold, had loads of little diamonds in it, and stuck up in a chevron about a third of an inch over my finger. I was so disappointed, but I tried to hide it. We both knew that he couldn’t afford to buy the ring I wanted. And, come to find out, he had bought the ring (and its accompanying wedding set) from his mother, who had used it when she was married to his besainted and now-deceased father.
Those two things combined to make me a very uncomfortable girl. He’d wanted so badly to ask me to marry him that he couldn’t take the year(s) it would require to save up. He’d given me the ring that marked his mother’s involvement in the union that created him. How could I tell him that I wasn’t happy with it? I wrestled with it for a week or so, but eventually felt that honesty was the best policy and sat him down.
There were tears on both our parts. I felt so ungrateful and he felt so rejected. And it hurt me even more to see how badly I’d wounded him. He said that he wanted to see me wear the ring I gave him because it was important to him. I told him that I understood, but it wasn’t “me” and it wasn’t really “us”, either. I love him so terribly much and a ring wasn’t going to change that in any way – but I simply didn’t like the style.
We talked for a good long while, more tears, but I stood my ground and we compromised. I agreed to wear the ring he’d given me until we were married, at which point I would only wear my band. Our bands are what’s actually important (and don’t match anyway), so he was okay with that. We even discussed saving up to buy the ring I’d originally wanted for our year anniversary. It was so wonderful that, despite all the hurt feelings at the outset, that we could work together and not be resentful of each other about it.
So, yeah. That’s my story. I think a lot of women go through this and don’t stick up for what they really feel. While it’s just a piece of metal and a rock (or twenty), it’s still important that you find meaning in it, as well as feel like it represents both you and your partner. I would love to see more people compromise and communicate when it comes to this.
It’s a hard situation to deal with – what do you do if the ring isn’t your “style”?
A lot of articles I read, where laydeez were asking for help with this very subject, became insulting – the girls were called shallow and told not to marry; and for what!? Because the ring that boy put on their finger snagged stuff, or wasn’t something they could wear? Sheesh!
birdie´s last blog ..Media Literacy Week: What Does it Mean?
My husband picked out the stones and had an engagement ring made for me (sadly we didn’t know Wendy back the!). I didn’t really have an image of a ring in mind way back then so I’ve always been happy with it. And if you asked me now to describe a ring it may not be what I have but that’s fine too. My engagement ring is about 3/4 of a carat round with two small pear shaped diamonds on each side in yellow gold. What is worth it to look for is to get the highest clarity you can. For me the sparkle is more important than the size.
What is fun is that we then got posey rings as our wedding bands. They read: Amor Vincit Omnia (Love Conquers All) just like these – http://www.dvbny.com/05_160s/BR015K18K.jpg.
I also have a band of channel set princess cut diamonds because I’ve always liked a 3 ring set and wanted that as a part of my wedding ring set.
Princess Poochie´s last blog ..Sheath Your Talons – Toned Down Siriano for Payless
When my husband and I got engaged, we went to a jewellery shop to have my watch strap fixed, and started looking at rings.
I don’t wear much jewellery so I knew the engagement ring wasn’t as important to me as the wedding ring – because once I had the wedding ring that would be the only piece of jewellery I would wear all the time.
CDH (Cantankerous Drummer Husband) had a budget of $1000. The ring I chose – a vintage style with an amethyst – cost $200. He took the ring off me and surprised me later with a proposal. It was quite fun because for 3 weeks I thought everytime we went out, I thought he’d planned to propose. In the end, I woke up at 4am on morning with the ring on my finger!
Our wedding rings he designed himself as a surprise for me, and they’re beautiful and perfect. They’re a gold band (made from melted jewellery from his great-grandmother) with a rope design around each edge. He’s engraved each with “Twegan Gastus in Annes”, meaning “Two Souls as One” in Anglo Saxon. And mine is set with a ruby, his an emerald.
Steff Metal´s last blog ..Halloween Ven Diagram
I LOVE the black diamond and the black pearl. AMAZING! I too am a rebel and would def go for one of those… that is if I actually took the plunge…
This is a great idea. I think I might steal it!
I have no idea if I’ll get married to The Boy, he doesn’t seem into it sadly. But rings I’ve pointed out in the past are single round diamonds on white gold or platinum bands and in reality that’s the basic engagement ring I’d be happy to get. If I got to choose a perfect one I’d like a black stone, black diamonds are beautiful, I really love onyx too though. Otherwise something totally different like this:
http://supermarkethq.com/product/love-ring-2
Would be amazing.
Ms Constantine´s last blog ..Pick N Mix – Week Starting 2 November 2009
I want a coloured stone, myself.
I find diamonds horribly normal… but a sapphire? Or ruby? Pretty!!
That black diamond makes me swoon.
Style on a String :: Because style has nothing to do with money.
Serena from Style on a String´s last blog ..Sunday’s Style Inspiration
I love the black diamond and that cool setting! The black pearl reminds me of a funny scene in Bullets Over Broadway where Meg Tilly (or was it her sister – I get them mixed up) gets upset when her mobster boyfriend gives her black pearls, because she thinks their defective, inferior pearls – so funny!
I gave my hubby-to-be a bunch of photos and info on the kind of ring I wanted. Eventually, he asked if I would just pick out what I wanted. Sure, it’s not super romantic. But he’s no pro at picking out jewelry and it was more romantic than me wearing a ring I don’t like for the rest of my life or asking if I could exchange it. :)