Niceties and Loyalties

My world has felt like a non-stop cluster of not always great things. It's not unusual for me to spend most of my days angry and upset, feeling disrespected and disappointed. The other day I sent a text to a boy friend saying, "It's Thursday! That means I'm full of hate! Rah Rah Rah!" to which he responded, "Isn't that every day?"

It was a sad, but true observation.

Anger, disappointment, disrespect-- these are not emotions that I enjoy feeling, particularly on a day-to-day basis. I tend to work my ass off regularly to accomplish my daily/weekly/monthly duties, and often find the results are people treating me in a patronizing and condescending manner. That's if I'm lucky and know the person-- people's interactions with one another on the street seem to depress me even further: cars speed up when I try and cross the street; I can be delivery things to an organization and no one can bother to open a door (while they watch me struggle to do it myself); people react rudely to a simple courteous request (please move back on the bus so more people can get on; please turn down your music, as it's 4 a.m. and the entire neighborhood can hear it).

Is it only Bloomington, or has there become a mass epidemic of lack of consideration for others and rudeness?

The other day I had the joy of watching a Fund Development officer for a major arts venue in town speak about the process. She commented on how "being nice" and "loyalty" are the two things that can really MATTER. They help, above all else, to develop those relationships with major donors and subsequently help the organization overall.

Why should niceness and loyalty be reserved only when asking people for money though?

In my everyday encounters, I find that the "little" man who I make the effort to interact with brings me more joy and pleasure than some of my regular interactions. And the kindness I try and show them is rewarded back to me with their kindness. There are days I damn growing up with a Southern sense of hospitality (as I find it can be taken advantage of), but I find that good manners and etiquette are really a better path to happiness.

So instead of scowling at people on the street, rushing through your transactions at the mini-mart, I propose (these are things I regularly do myself):

• Smile at strangers on the street
• Hold open the door for someone ahead of or behind us
• Wave to the driver who let you cross the street
• Ask a stranger you encounter how they are and listen
• Thank the sales associates, or bus driver, you encounter throughout the day and mean it